Whod you bang
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I take back everything I said about communal showers
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
