I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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