Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize