i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
