This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
should my penis look like a turkey
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
