dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
