It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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