I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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