i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
