she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
