At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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