White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We had sex on a dog bed..
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
how does that bad decision feel?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize