Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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