i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize