They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Randomize
