I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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