Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
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