if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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