i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
