get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
