In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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