I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i will never coherently bang her
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
