Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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