i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
and she was petting her beer can
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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