I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
