He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
