Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
