so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
