The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
