life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize