WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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