Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
sex in a hospital.. check
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
