btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
