I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
No I am not eating basil off your cock
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
