the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
