Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
