Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
