Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
