I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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