Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize