this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
