i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
