Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize