its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
