susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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