fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
