stop calling my apartment porn island.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
