Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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