So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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