All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
