i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
