I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
