oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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