3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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