i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Randomize