i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize