I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
No stitches, just platelets and will power
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
