I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
