Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i think i scared a bird with my dick
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
