U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i drank out of a bidet.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
