The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
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