that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
