that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
