if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
