i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
