i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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